Tracie Fights Back

Today is a good day on many fronts. I felt well enough to go to the farmers’ market. And U.S. District Judge Walker ruled that the ban on gay marriage passed by California voters two years ago is unconstitutional.

There was a brief moment in state history when the state Supreme Court ruled gay marriages were legal in California. It ended five months later when a hate- and fear-driven campaign succeeded in convincing a majority of California voters that the relationships of gay and lesbian couples are somehow inferior, threatening and less worthy of legal protections than those of heterosexuals.

During that five-month window of opportunity Michelle and I were married at the Fresno County Courthouse, becoming one of 18,000 gay couples currently legally married in California. Our marriage was not particularly romantic or well-thought-out. We read the polls, we knew we were about to miss our window of opportunity, we took a risk.

Today it’s hard to believe that anyone could see our union as less committed or worthy of protections than theirs as I depend on her to feed me, shop for me, fill my prescriptions, schlep me to my doctors at Stanford, sit by my hospital bed, prop me up when I’m down, cry with me when I’m scared, put her life on hold, and plan an uncertain future. It’s hard to imagine that given this level of commitment, should I not survive my illness, she will not be entitled to my federal Social Security surviving spouse benefits to help her move forward without me.

Marriage is not about what children may or may not be taught in school.

It’s about partners who stick with each other in good times and bad, for better for worse, for richer for (on disability) poorer, in sickness and in health.

Thank you Judge Walker. U.S. Supreme Court here we come!

My honey loves me, even when I'm sick

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